I often wish politicians could be as bluntly honest as great comedians. Comedians, and artists of all types, have the advantage: they only have to appeal to a niche, while politicians have to get to 50 percent.
But if Hillary Clinton is going to make a comeback, she needs a drastic strategy.
This weekend, guest hosting on her old Saturday Night Live gig, Tina Fey offered a rant worthy of her predecessor Dennis Miller, and an endorsement so blatant that Obama should demand equal time. It was a brilliant piece of work, because in just FOUR WORDS Fey summed up Hillary's problem, and made the Clinton case, better than any hour long speech of wonky bullet points.
"Bitches get stuff done."
You can use the link to watch it on NBC. NBC's site didn't let me embed it, and it got yanked from YouTube, which hurts Team Hillary by keeping it from going viral. In this political universe, you can't use a message like this yourself. It wouldn't appeal to Clinton's base of, as it was put in another skit, "white women over 80." Fey, in the post-Boomer net-savvy cultural world she ironically shares with Obama, can say this. It also follows the de facto language rule of "only a member of a group can ironically use the derogatory label."
The just-ended writer's strike is also too bad for Hillary here. If this meme had gotten going between South Carolina and Super Tuesday, we might be looking at a different race now.
Here's the text:
FEY: And finally, the most important Women’s News item there is, we have our first serious female presidential candidate in Hillary Clinton.
And yet, women have come so far as feminists, that they don’t feel obligated to vote for a candidate just because she’s a woman. Women today feel perfectly free to make whatever choice Oprah tells them to.
Which raises the question, why are people abandoning Hillary for Obama?
Some say that they’re put off by the fact that Hillary can’t control her husband, and that we would end up with co-presidents. ‘Cause that would be terrible, having two intelligent, qualified people working together to solve problems. Ugh.
Why would you let Starsky talk to Hutch? I wanna watch that show, "Starsky."
You know, what is it, America? What is it, are you weirded out that they’re married? ‘Cause I can promise you that they are having exactly as much sex with each other as George Bush and Jeb Bush are.
Then there is the physical scrutiny of her physical appearance. Rush Limbaugh, the Jeff Conaway of right wing radio, said that he doesn’t think America is ready to watch their president quote “turn into an old lady in front of them.” Really? They didn’t seem to mind when Ronald Reagan did that.
Maybe what bothers me the most is that people say that Hillary is a bitch.
Let me say something about that: Yeah, she is. And so am I and so is this one. (pointing to Amy Poehler)
POEHLER: Yeah, deal with it.
FEY: Know what? Bitches get stuff done.
Like back in grammar school, they could have had priests teaching you but, no, they had those tough old nuns who slept on cots and who could hit ya and you HATED those bitches! But at the end of the school year, you sure KNEW the capital of Vermont!
So COME ON Texas and Ohio! Get on board, it's not too late!... BITCH IS THE NEW BLACK!