Stolen from TalkLeft:
A woman, in a hot air balloon, realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude, and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me. Can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago. But, I don't know where I am."
The man consulted his portable GPS, and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2346 feet above sea level. You are at 11 degrees, 14.97 minutes North latitude, and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes West longitude.
She rolled her eyes, and said, "You must be a Democrat."
"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct. But, I have no idea what to do with your information. And, I am still lost. Frankly, you have not been much help to me."
The man smiled, and responded, "You must be a Republican."
"I am!" replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"
"Well...," said the man, "You do not know where you are, or where you are going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep. And, now you expect me to solve your problem. You are in exactly the same position you were in before we met. But somehow, now it's all my fault.
Here's the joke the way I knew it:
A jumbo jet was making its approach for landing in Seattle yesterday when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the jumbo jet's position and course to steer to the airport.
The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign, and held it in the plane's window. The pilot's sign said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters.
People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN AN AIRPLANE."
The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to the Seattle airport, and landed the plane safely.
After they were on the ground, the co-pilot asked the pilot how the "YOU ARE IN AN AIRPLANE" sign helped determinine plane's position.
The pilot responded "I knew that had to be the MICROSOFT building because, similar to their help-lines, they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."