The Great UN Bicycle Conspiracy

Colorado Candidate: Biking to Work Part of One World Government Conspiracy

This stuff is just too good to make up:

Colorado Republican gubernatorial candidate Dan Maes is warning voters that Denver Mayor John Hickenlooper's policies, particularly his efforts to boost bike riding, are "converting Denver into a United Nations community."

"This is bigger than it looks like on the surface, and it could threaten our personal freedoms," Maes said.

He added: "These aren't just warm, fuzzy ideas from the mayor. These are very specific strategies that are dictated to us by this United Nations program that mayors have signed on to."

Maes was considered a fringe candidate until GOP front runner Scott McInnis got caught in a big plagiarism scandal. The state party all but begged both candidates to quit, but neither would. It's so bad that Tom Tancredo - we all remember HIM here in Iowa - has jumped in on the Constitution Party (suggested slogan: 'Tea's too weak for us') line, splitting the right half of the electorate 50-50 and virtually guaranteeing a win for Democratic Bicycle Socialist Hickenlooper.

It was the Great Orange Satan himself, Markos "Kos" Moulitsas, an intense cyclist, who brought this to my attention, as he writes:

Maes gives us yet another window into the psyche of the teabagger, one in which being environmentally responsible is suspect, in which the United Nations is code word for communist. It's a world in which "liberty" apparently means dealing with congestion-choked streets, noxious air quality, and unhealthy living.

We know this crowd hates brown people, non-Christians, single women, Hollywood, San Francisco, Massachusetts, gays, immigrants, New York, Chicago, anyone born in Hawaii, Muslims, urbanites, liberals, environmentalists, anyone who wears birkenstocks or drinks lattes, and any country outside of the United States.

I guess you can add cyclists to the list.