Relationships Matter

I'm an Old Straight White Guy (and feeling a lot older than I did a year and a half ago). I get that we have more than had "our turn."

 

But the faction that is most loudly arguing that the Old Straight White Guy should have simply stood down in the name of diversity is also the faction that systematically hounded the first and only Black supervisor out of office, and that chanted "racist" at the City Council when they re-elected the black gay mayor.

 

Johnson County has got enough of a history at electoral diversity that we can afford to look at candidates as individuals. No matter what happens, it's not going to be all Old Straight White Guys at the table.

Tip O'Neill was very much an Old Straight White Guy, but a lot of his lessons are timeless.

 

He loved to tell a story from his first election, running for city council when he was still a student at Boston College. His neighbor Mrs. O’Brien said: "Tom, I'm going to vote for you tomorrow even though you didn't ask me."

 

“Mrs. O'Brien, I’ve lived across the street from you for 18 years. “I cut your grass in the summer and shovel your walk in the winter. I didn’t think I had to ask for your vote.”

Mrs. O’Brien’s response: “Tom, people like to be asked.”

 

He lost that election. He never lost another one. 

 

You're not going to get someone's support if you don't ask. You might not get it even then, but at least you've begun to build a relationship.

 Relationships matter in politics and in government as well. I'm not special. I'm not a big deal. But I am one of the senior rank and file county employees, and I'm one of the more experienced party leaders. I give people straight answers, and I think I'm worth talking to.

 

I understand not everyone wants to waste their time on me. There's no way I was going to support anyone but Rod Sullivan in the District 4 race. He is one of my closest friends and has been for 30 years. He's stuck by me through literally the darkest hours of my life, including the one I'm living through now.

 

I supported V in 2022. I volunteered for their campaign and was in on several planning meetings. My thoughts and judgement were taken seriously.

 

But something seems to have happened afterwards. Because I have not had a substantive conversation about policy or politics with V since that primary. (That was long before the district bill and the map that paired V and Rod.) Did I reach out? No, I didn't. If you're the candidate, I think it's on you to reach out. (V did offer appropriate condolences after my wife's death, and I appreciated that kindness - but that's been about it.)

 

I've also been disappointed in V on some policy matters, most notably the much needed new jail. (ALL of this personality stuff is going to seem like insider trivia after that jail vote.) I am not a police abolitionist and I have family working in law enforcement. That doesn't make me a "fascist" or even a "conservative." It makes me a pragmatist. I can't look at this in any sort of "leaving my friendship aside" manner, but Rod's vision of governing is closer to my own.

 

I also got to know Guillermo during V's campaign, and then he came to work for the county. And again, something seems to have happened, because when we passed in the hallways he barely said hello. His two predecessors, Andy Johnson and Mike Hensch, regularly talked with me and with a lot of other rank and file staffers. They built relationships, not just in one office or with higher ranking staff, but across the county.

 

Relationships matter. If V and Guilllermo had maintained a relationship with me after June 2022, would it have changed my "vote?" (I live in District 5.) No, but I would have been honest about it AND I would have been less likely to write all of this.

 

I have never had a substantial conversation with Mandi Remington about anything in my life. At some point before 2023, the self-described "progressive" faction decided that I was "too establishment" and no longer worth the time of day. They decided they could win with just their own people and didn't need to talk to anyone else. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't, but it seems like that attitude has carried over from campaigning into governing. Only talking to your own people is something Trump and Reynolds and the legislative Republicans do. It should not be how Democrats of any faction operate.

 

I didn't know Josh Moe or Joe Reilly before they were candidates either - but they reached out and asked for my support. Mandi just wrote me off, apparently with no consideration. I don't "not like" Mandi - I just don't know her at all. There's no relationship TO damage.

 

This isn't an ideological thing. Jon Green talks to me often and I think we have a good relationship, even if we may not always be on the same side of every issue or primary. Laura Bergus was decent enough to reach out and tell me that she was changing races in 2023 and running against my friend Pauline Taylor, and I was honest and told her I was going to support Pauline. We have barely talked since, but at least we had enough of a relationship for an honest conversation, and I feel like we could still do that despite our differences.

 

Maybe I'll get called some names. Maybe some stuff from the distant past will get brought up. Maybe someone will point out my flaws again as if I don't already see them. I'm past the point of caring. Petty cruelty in a political fight on the internet can't hurt me after the year and a half I have been through. And one of the most valuable lessons of that year and a half for me has been: relationships matter.